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Monday, January 18, 2016

meaning….meaning what? 1/18/16

this effusive jabber that comes your way.
the scramble is on to grasp and comprehend.
there is a inner flurry in this hush of clamor,
in nanoseconds of some assemblage,
the lush of recognition attempts to surface.
versions are swimming towards a clarity in short order
as somehow a meaning has to be derived.
some standup version of understanding has to be readied.
if so, then there is an attempt
at an adequate mind-directed response
which includes readiness to speak,
appropriate facial and posture reflected
and the momentum as if conversation continues
without any of this making a noticeable frantic display
to the outside-of-you world.
okay, let’s say that that is a given,
as an undisclosed assumed
and the cover for all of this feverish but unseen
is the significance of meaning.
if you got meaning out of this process,
then you’re good to go.
but what is this meaning stuff, really?
how does having meaning make anything next, okay?
So you have meaning as if that justifies, existence?
You have meaning
and it feels like you have something of value,
which is some sacred place where meaning gets stored
for usage at a later time when you are short
on appropriate meaning in that moment?
So then you take that stored up meaning
which is now referred to as belief
and you use that to bolster that moment,
possibly claimed as in need(?)
meaning doesn’t take me to soul.
Sure it chauffeurs me around as me in this life.
but now meaning becomes a recital of knowing,
said inwardly to suffice for some fallout
or breakdown or sense of self at loss
into an undeclared state where
you shockingly don’t have approval, confidence,
or adequate account to address as yourself in storied form. 
This is a momentary you, without a story, so to speak.
So besides the filibuster of brain-spillage
plastered all over the internal walls
of you as recognition, echoing as inner voiced-wallpaper
pushing dialogue your way,
somewhere between visual and auditory,
what is and what does meaning actually do for you?
Is this sanctuary, a safe zone, adequate reprieve, 
actualization of esteemed goals,
the bucket-list in realization, 
the crayons of experience coloring 
a whatever storybook you have as yours,
the momentum of an approving religion,
a series of clueless next moments getting realized
for whatever could be construed as your worth?
Yo, meaning.
underneath all of the particulars
that cause preoccupation and derived involvement,
besides the recount and the experiential repeats
that so document, what else does meaning mean?
we certainly give it the surface buoyancy to be in play
as directing our lives supposedly here and there.
But the concept, the construct, the actual mechanism,
its migratory medium of brain practice,
the momentous affect, its circumspect usage,
the currency of human exchange,
as the collusion in part by all!
meaning, meaning what?
I am not saying I want understanding.
I want a sense of rootedness,
of essential cause and carriage.
I want it before it is crafted,
where it is essential and initial even if not evidential.
I want the physics of meaning to us as a species.
Maybe I want the truth that will exist
some 100 year or even a 1000 years from now.
so . . . meaning, (for the lack of clearer terms,)
meaning what?






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