experience from the heart 12/17/15

Primarily experience that is not holographic

is passively a nominal indulgence as a spectator

from the bleacher seat of your person.

Frontal is a given but emersion is what is wanted.

Although recognition lobbies for familiarity and certitude, 

we all basically thirst and search

behind the horizon of projected appearances

for the invitational nectar of self permission

and the animation of being

as the verb of self that is living.

Eventfulness is a sabotage that represents frame breaks 

away from the ambient dynamic flow of living.

It begs the question, why have an actual life

when you can construct and manage

an image of your self as a series of story-able accounts

of your self for the eventual retell

in an ongoing solicitation and then contractualization

with those you claim as your friends, your community,

and interactional reality as the apparent presumption

of your life in the vacancy of actually living into it?

The hologram bears no witness.

All of you is dedicated to being.

The residual of after-affects may claim

that what happened then, looking back

was timeless and feels fulfilling.

How can that be? It wasn’t even rewarding!

It didn’t live in a timeline contract.

You had to be beside yourself or vice versa.

Mostly our experiences are registered as beside our selves, 

consumed by observation and account

as if that isn’t fundamentally distracting to start.

With that as habitually in mind,

there is a limit or governor of allowance

as to how much of you is actually available

to be fully yourself.

If you are always the film crew

and the documentation corps of yourself,

then how much of you is permitted

to be the original you

ever unfolding before your own eyes from deep within? 

This is not rocket science

because we all did aliveness as children

before we became distracted with the inundation

and intrusion of self consciousness as it was introduced

to us, ongoing throughout the rest of our lives.

Help me here.

How much of your life have you been encouraged

to be the passion of your being,

the genius of your own wherewithal,

the light presence of your own spirit,

and the magic of your own mindfulness?

Experience has somehow transitioned

from a medium whereby all of this is plausible,

playable, and permitted into a reality of complexity, 

subterfuge, and energetic truths, hiding in the shadow

and the closets of our conscious awareness.

For our acceptable truth,

experience has been a projectionist

but in our heart of heart awareness,

experience has a light source

know it first hand

to be the light of your being . . .