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Saturday, June 13, 2015

finding myself 6/13/15

I need to be in love with the Rosetta stone of other beings. The big picture of life is ever expansively my ride to bring into frame where focus drives me. In my world, origins are ever revealing. I make judgments as emotional stances that have no valid life as posing statues of me. Visionary is my art ever unfolding, ever in service to a greater cause then stated. I am a poker player with exceptional mirrors in the ethers around the table of play. I don’t care for the cards themselves but I attend to their motion, where and how they were held, and how they are reflected back into other players’ faces. I can take the pulse of another at thirty paces through their voice. I have binoculars attuned to the tones of their say. I see through billboards of projections and make no effort to do so. I am forever in need of primal rudder-ship forever unfolding yet undisclosed. Bleacher seats facing me, occupied or not, are distracting. Ordering from the menu of life only provides more questions then it answers. I would love to know how to write the truth but I have a need for organization functioning as an impediment that gets in my way. I use my mind as handrails for emotional challenges to fresh paint from my soul. I have delve and detachment work hand in hand. I wish for my sexuality not to be triggered but to be free spirited as in forthcoming. For sensuality/sexuality is a truth telling of necessity in my nature and of my being. For in my mind, I have hammers, chisels, saws, knives, clamps, glues and lacquers. But in my heart, I have visioning, deep breathing, evocative touch, primal as liquids that matter, empathic embraces I cannot mentally justify. I am soma to world forthcoming but not fully evident to me yet. I cannot go away from a worldview but it is not haunting yet still inviting. Simplicity is a feeling state I often experience as chaos comforts me with authenticity. That which draws me, essentially drives me. I assume the composition of awareness that others often do not have. I feel I have a mind-right to know and wish it did not lead me to self-distractions. Ruckus in the mind is my false livelihood, for as long as I gross out on the world, I have this motor running. My goal is to atrophy understanding and communication of the mind for presence and conveyance of the heart and not have left anything untouched or disregarded.



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