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Wednesday, April 15, 2015

The enterprise of Feelings 4/15/15

I am use to feelings that have a shelf life,
sometimes dappled, sometimes bright,
windswept, buoyant, blustery, and consuming.
I generally hold them in a comfort zone place
and bask in the dynamic and depth of their presence.
I don’t really know of feelings
that have no beginning and no end,
feelings within me that maybe somewhat muted to me
but are always robust and constant from deep within.
I am slightly aghast at the discovery of the me
who comes into those unceasing unending feelings,
and then the me who ashamedly somehow goes away.
How can that be when I live for the ripeness of feelings?
I want for feelings to be full-blown
and exist beyond my certitude about them.
I don’t want my come-on to be
that I am on the outside of these ever-constant feelings
to start with and then I am let in,
as if it is a sudden surge of discovery within me.
I don’t want to be in the hunt for them either
as if the unexpected awareness of them
is my facing this wrapping paper enveloping me
and then these feelings are
a foreignness of a gift, given to me.
I don’t want these feelings as sparse or scarce in my life.
I want for the bones of feelings through the skeletal me.
I want for the blood of feelings through my heart refreshing.
I want feelings emanating as a given of me and from me,
not the platitudes of a situational exchange with anyone.
I want these feelings that embrace and engorge me
while on their way out of me as an ever-be that flows,
as heartfelt is the source of them from within me.
I want to share these with life around me, ever expanding.
These feelings are not as waywardness or a wandering,
these feelings as they emanate from deeply within me,
are as the fluid fountain, filling my field
and ever being my broadcast in conveyance.
I do not want to be a deadbeat non-donor of feelings
then ever solicitous to fill the gap within me.
I want these feelings from the source of me ongoing,
Feelings like this are brain rich from my heart.
Feelings like this always trump my logic and circumstance.
This enterprise of feelings is my source-point of being.
These feelings are beyond a shelf life existence.
These feelings as mine, are self love
then self-love shared ongoing.
Be it so unto all of you,
self-sourced and deeply shared, from deep within . . .








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