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Monday, April 20, 2015

my life is in mourning 4/20/15

my life is in mourning as I have lost a friend as if a limb
the vacancy calls out to me by this loudness of silence
so many memories rushing by as if burning in flames
never to be revisited and possibly false in origin to start
how can I be a cold sweat of numbness that cannot surface
missing pages in my book of trust that cannot be reread
illusory memory working as a form of shallow breathing
decisions that became chiseled upon the other, now in stone
in half sentences without the wherewithal to finish
feeling queasy, at a loss for words to find a clear to say
conclusions as steppingstone faces that give no direction
I inwardly weep as an uprooted fallen tree in bright sunlight
the day within will fill with light but I will trace shadows
I can’t make wholeness placate when hollow plays as if me
so sad that sorrow interjects so strongly as if to intervene
I am broken glass needing beach waves to cut the sharpness
I have nothing to offer that is not further disarray
I go away from a place in me that I will never leave
gravity is revealed as an unforgiving audience to my now
I have sinned in another’s dream and cannot repent
I am the burden of what can’t be altered or held in regret
sleep will follow me all around, waiting for permission
my shoulders are crying standing in strength not wanting to
I want to be the broken wing, in the attention of knead
shape-shifting does not move me out of this cloud of gloom
I will go on as if disablement is also a way of life
a broken nest lies in an emotional tree, I can not reach to fix
the surface of our shared lake is rippled by parting currents
sobbing on the in-breaths reaches to my soul
make me invisible so that I can be undisturbingly close
I feel like roadkill as the parting gift, thanks for coming . . .








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