In my mind, one level down or one level back
and I am a scramble.
It’s just enough to keep the billboards of appearances
current and capably comprehensible.
Can’t read into the next moment quick enough
to pacify myself against the anxieties that are possible.
I have so many nervous habits
that are now trained to be seen as affability.
Sure my energy, like that of many others,
is up and running.
This is hardly ever not so.
But how simplistic is the alarm
calling from within me
that makes all of this happen?.
I want serenity without all the clutter of excitement.
I want calm without the buzz and then the fury.
I know chaos is my calling
while others seem frazzled and phased.
I feel like the queen bee of busy
in a worker-bee-training hive.
They must be all tricking me into being the queen
but I don’t see how that helps them
become better worker bees myself!
The demonstrations we put on for reality productions
look like overkill to me.
Surely a map for the moment seems like a good excuse
for a lit candle to be right there also.
But seriously, screw the map,
let’s just appreciate the light!
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