Deeper feelings * 9/8/14

I have deeper feelings where nothing meaningful applies. I am long and longing into the search, as I also search for why I search. I easily live the disguise of looking for what I don’t know. I, in my defense, have means and reasons and live for possible new leads as rewards but no, I secretly search on, as a way of life. Rewards are no relief, just moments of my exposure, now useless to the deeper cause. I search from the half empty of me, using the half full. I am not the me who does this, this relentlessness in searching. But I cover for them. They of me are closer to the void fire and the void choir than I. They bleed these elementals for dissection, while I pose and appear. They of me tell me stories that enthrall beyond words but wordlessly done in the exchange. I settle for the flash of details surfacing as if it is them of me ceremoniously coming up for air. But I have deeper feelings where nothing meaningful sustains or applies . . . Feelings that shape a universe larger than I can know but I know it is there and it is real and I come from there more than here. My heart is aware and confirming but I have no words to say. These deeper feelings, they are not distracting but what outwardly presents. These deeper feelings, at times, they name me to myself. They give a sense of soul recognition. Deeper feelings anchor beyond story or account.  Deeper feelings give me home away from home as always the emotional bechons . . .