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Monday, August 22, 2011

The practice of expectations

Can you imagine

that expectation, as a process,

is really just a technique,

that humans learned to use?

And that we learned this

rather subversively

like below our true attention means.

But mostly, we learned

to focus through it

and certainly not at it

because we were too preoccupied

with content to notice this as handling.

Like who would study expectation

as if it were a method

for something else?

Yet we were still learning

very thoroughly

through an almost endless usage

of applied practice.

And that the use of this practice

was insisted upon

by almost all the people in our lives.

We rehearsed a thousand times

before the age of three.

And this technique

was eventually taken up

into the unconsciousness of habit

as acceptable behavior,

as part of our vast support wardrobe

for our retentive minds at play.

And it was based on an arsenal

of remembrances as resources

to recall and re-embrace.

And that this technique

was intended, for us

to launch into frames of anticipation

about other humans

as well as circumstance.

Then, one upon another,

filling the moments of our experience

with these exceptional expectations,

to totally perceived as viable,

became our next moment’s enterprise.

This process was possibly in cahoots

with desire from the start

and therefore propositioning for how

next moments should naturally come.

As if frame by frame,

supposedly unfolding,

the reduction

from each moment’s sacred means

became ear marked

to be perceived as repeatable acts,

as a short hand for our experience

to pronounce expectancy’s surmise.

The introduction of familiarity’s position

of leverage on now

has the momentum

to seek towards common elements,

to duplicate and account for now

as if we were primarily audience,

by what already was

expectation’s “supposedly so”.

How contradicted would it be

for expectation to perceive

a world that never was

before this moment,

to come to know of it

in shared transition beyond

by what it’s not.

It would be the constant world

of ever changing-ness

yet veiled by the platitudes

of participatory appearances

in the grossest symbolic sense.

If a future is possible by this means,

then find for us symbols of animation

that have no origins

from meaning in static expectancy ways.

Give us a stasis

of ever changing-ness

in and as our flow.

Opt for us the unrepeatable journey

as our ongoing lives.

Take us to where

no moment knows much of another,

where no moment bares the burden

or extends the concluded worth

to the very next moment at hand.

Find for us where we fail

all examinations of past to present

to future and back, in principle

yet this life of ours goes on.

What if nothing ever

did essentially repeat itself?

And our method of “notice” itself

was the result

of a lack of full attention?

Is “expectation” a diminishment

of the “now” embrace?

And is desire, a lack of presence

brought fully forward in to the now?

What would life be

without futures

based upon rigid frames?

What would life be

with a language

towards communing means,

without the current signatures

of eventfulness,

without the full blown expectancy story

or the meeting of expectations

in the often told?

What if free fall were time for us

and the perturbations of nine gravities

were in our constant breath?

If in the cycles of our cells

and the stir of our senses,

we were also our participants

as well as our listeners

and this perfection was a sense

for us of surrender

and composure vitally combined?

If the mixed mediums of our sentience

provided for a oneness

without expectations to proceed?

And the practice of expectations

was really just a hall

of dissipated fame.

And this practice called expectations

was really just a high art form

of re-visitation,

done by professionals

pleasantly performing

but simply put,

the precision of mental mime . . .

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