The switchbox called self-permission

Inside us all

there is a switchbox

called self-permission.

There is a monitor

and a censor riding herd.

A tape drive of self-recording

prompted towards appropriate response,

contextual to a fault,

ingrained within the limits of choice.

It is transactional,

tit for tat,

gives and gets.

Reproducible behaviors become predictable

yet idiosyncrasies seep through.

Crumbs of self-pronouncement

litter everywhere

from mass murder to a smile,

from life decision to absolute denial.

Crumbs are everywhere

as some are emotional,

some sensing, some imaginative,

some interpretive, some as held results,

even some crumbs of self-judging,

enough to construe as story, habit, or m.o.

This fine weave of self-permission

is undisclosed

under the guise of motive or cause,

dressed in the apparel of decisions.

This schemata of self-circuitry

is involved.

There is this switchbox

that stimulates the unconscious secretion

of specific self chemistry,

self administered,

with experiential and more

subtle electrical effects.

It is almost taboo

to search for its whereabouts within.

It is like a black box

from an airplane disaster

in that you would never look for it

unless there was a serious compromise

already involved

yet in an unrealized way,

reality is that disaster,

proposing the search

and surely begging the question . . .