I saw her face Part 3 of 4

It is not that I am alone

in a lonely way.

I deserve it,

all of it,

for the way

I played my hand in it.

I dealt most of the cards,

peeked at many . . .

with time on my hands.

Played as if it were real to me

but not.

Checked out

what others were doing

with their hand.

So . . .

God I hope the oasis

does not have a casino.

Now, I travel by night

all day long

to get where I will know

that I have arrived.

No more maps

or rolled down windows

of inquiry.

Just hear my motor running

and check to see

it is not gridlock.

I am almost there

from wherever I have been,

(no matter how long,

it is the same moment differently).

Will do most of the driving

from now on.

I see we are all in transit

by keeping my eyes on the road.

I am whole

before destination appears

as arrival

but don’t tell the driver of me

that this is so.

She needs incentives of absence

and a slow clamor

to beckon her along.

We, as myself, are on the road.

The journey has proven worth.