Hearing Loss

I am a hearing loss away

from understanding you.

I read your lips with no interest

in comprehension what so ever.

It is enough for me to see

that you are talking at me.

Could I be this alert

and yet be in a comma?

I am stricken

with a thicker preoccupation

far away from here.

I am bound up with anxiety

for the way

a next moment may unfold.

It may come from a dark rain

of unforgettable remarks

that could be chiseled

onto a black reflective stone

that I will have to face

many times over

as my say, from my script,

as a self-imposed

loadstone of personal remarks.

Any words I say now

make me into an oxen

of recognition’s future labor.

Where one word plows into another

across a field of unrelenting guilt

under an unfulfilled obliging night sky

of expectations from others also.

For without these awaiting

stars as scars,

there is a more original kind

of new moon blindness.

I cannot joyously share in it

but only indifferently deny

how important it is to me.

It is a sad day

of undefined emotional weight

from pulling along

this inevitable impending doom.

I am already

a discouraged conversation

ahead of now.

It is all lip sink

relative to real time pain.

When they match,

a coffin of sky

will have a verbal skillet for a lid!

The acoustics from my inner voices

are already that process

close now yet somehow vacant,

bouncing off of a simple backdrop

of flat geometric coffin walls.

Thank god for dim light

reflected off these walls

that comes off in many shades.

I have come to feel for it

as solemn comfort

though also in my view,

chronic and overstayed.

I have also come to realize

that my dental work has a timeline

without regard to usage

but just to the death

of my smile.

No matter, halitosis

even from a last dying breath

always outlasts a smile anyway.

So ask me now.

Was there ever a sheet

drawn over the head now dead

or a shovel full

tossed onto

a six feet under coffin

to cover a cooling head

that ended it all

with an act as a message

that ended up being

the spiritually true

and karmically completing

last line?