What did I do

I lived and died for you.

I conceded my private self

As I opened myself to you.

I wandered myself around in you.

I mutilated vast golden fields

of personal wisdom

in the search for you.

I was inadvertent almost everywhere.

I conceived most everything

from the boredom of you.

I could have faked existence for you.

I took to your meanings

and prided myself

into something of and for you.

Whatever . . .

And then you woke up!

I wasted my life as you.

I held positions of rebellion as you.

I endured consequences for you.

I took to the isolation

and aloneness of you.

I agreed to the false clarity.

I accepted your gender role

and played at it on your behalf.

I proxied for responsibility as you.

I identified with your self-characterization

for your enhancement as you.

For what? . . .

And then you woke up!

I held that things were complex.

I pretended sophistication

to your satisfaction.

I mostly accepted your relative sense

of self worth.

I aged appropriately as you.

I displayed commitment

to causes as you.

I evidenced successes

and mistakes for you.

I kept our dialogues and contentions

to a minimum for you.

I engaged in experiences

on your behalf.

How much so? . . .

And then you woke up . . .

I stood in long lines

of suffering as you.

I tried low self-esteem

to bolster your cause.

I fancied an addictive personality

featuring false benefits for you.

I flat out acted dumb

or possibly insane as you.

I buried myself

in purpose and action for you.

I imagined myself

as someone else for you.

I labored along

as emotionally disenfranchised

for the expression of you.

I tried self-improvement

in order to protect you.

And you did what? . . .

And then you woke up.

Well? . . .

Whatever it takes . . .

on the journey of the ego

to essentially wake you up.

I will do

what ever it takes . . .