It is not signing
as primarily with my hands.
I don’t lip read for assistance
though I do talk to myself
under shallow breaths.
My signing is not consensual.
I do it with my behavior
and within my conscious mind.
Face it,
reality is a disability state.
There is no apparent rehab.
My life is
an almost constant signage.
There is a complex of signals
towards any agreement
we commonly share.
It is from the outside in,
from the grossest
towards subtle.
The delivery system includes;
behavior, disposition, attitude,
speech, thoughts and feelings.
It is all truly
just reduced to signage.
I have agreed
to an undisclosed affirmation;
to be separate
as a human being
then make dedicated efforts
at communication work,
at agreement,
at shared reality
and common experience.
Such is the nature
of this signage.
It is all
a cumbersome of method
as I am signing my life away.
I sense the disparity,
confront the chasm,
accept the aloneness,
participate
in the constant drills,
that separatism
by assumption subsidizes
to overcome the distance
and to justify the experience.
It is only then
I wholly reach
towards compensation
from this perception
as outcome.
All of this
objectification reality
is this disability state.
It is environmental
and I am here in it,
signing my life away . . .
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