The whale of now

I set out in preparation.
As only every moment
of indecent prayer
unconsciously repeated
as incantation
becomes the loss of edginess,
giving way
to familiarity’s imprisonment.
With the whale of now forever
the weight upon my mind,
I am laden as if burdened
with harpoons of curiosity.
I am set forth with long coils
of focus
readied to spring upon any now
that surfaces
across my bow of brow.
Wanton and waiting
for an eye to eye.
I phase out envisioned,
in a doctor’s waiting room,
there is an aquarium
with a lone fish in it, before me.
We, both beyond board,
meet eye to eye,
to give meaning
to dimensions
though unexpected
but approachable
and appreciated.
Yet my worst fears lurk,
this eye to eye,
could be floating freely
in a hurricane’s message
back to me.
And so this lone fish says to me,
“you had the passion to proceed.
You got yourself
to be currently here.
And so we meet
as you would say,
eye to eye.
Now can your world of dialogue
ever be the same in parting
these seas?
For I will take from you
all the comfort of your sensibilities.
I will rock your float
of intake, surmise and memories.
I am your worst fear
telling you the truth
without reward
for your efforts put forth.
I am not the whale you seek
but the environment of distraction
you envision
as your worst version of worth.
Your entitlement
gives you a dream
based upon fear as your mentor.
I will be every breath of that
and then some.
I will be a now of survival,
an extension of your fantasy
for the unknown.
But I am not the whale of you,
just the deeps,
seeded by your apprehension”
as the receptionist calls your name,
ending your daydream
of self-seizure.
The whale of now still
awaits your enterprise.