The wind out of my sail

If I ever trust an ocean

to stir the skies

and bring me a breeze

to bless the moment

then I am a superstitious fool

for the deliverance

will come as it does

with or without

my perception or need.

If I were to ride the moment

no matter its favor

for I made up that story

to soothe me in that moment

then I must admit

to the inward struggle

and my lack

of gratefulness and presence

for each moment

is/was its own reward

for me to drink from

and to not reinterpret

to benefit my whimsy.

I did not penetrate that moment

for its richness offered

in my direction.

I surmised and concluded

to support my own shortcomings

and then rewarded myself

with its personalized

disappointing outcome

and now I spin on

reeling from what was not mine

but perceived to be

and then lost on my expectation

as its delivery.

So I am doubly trialed

for this recovery

to be here once again

free from claims I made

and to re-instill from within

and begin anew.

The wind out of my sail or in

is what it is

without my demand or expectation.

If I ever trust

it should be empty

free and clear

so as to be here

receptive and present

and for the next moment’s invitation

also to be present in trust

empty . . . free and clear.