"in love"

Remember that state of being,

being “in love”?

That self-sense of buoyancy?

That perception of invitation

all around you?

That eternal spring up-rise,

greeting every moment’s frame?

The un-kept optimism

that made this moment rich

and rolling into the next

with expectations

seamlessly met?

The way the world was

in intimate Technicolor

to your eyes?

All the juices flowing

and everything lifted

and greeting?

The sense of sharing the unsaid

but not unfounded?

How time had these moments

that were ocean wide

and floating?

How somehow you were so alive

and truly benefited by others

as they seemed benefited

by you?

How life was so much larger

and you were full meal filled

with it

but not wasted or indulged.

How there were no tasks

to draining

and service was at the heart

of everything given

and received?

How there was an override

to anything

that historically

had been considered

a drag or vacant or

boring in deed?

Yes to most of these

as memorable descriptions?

So now take away all these

as external claims

as representation of “in love”.

Self study

beyond perception’s claim.

Imaging for this moment

that all the external contingencies

were somewhat made up.

They were perceptual intoxicants

as a means to an end.

That really there was nothing

about being “in love”

by those perceptions

that was essentially culturally

contractual or obliging.

That what it was for you,

although somewhat disguised

by external circumstance,

was really all you

from the inside out.

That although you had your story

and you stuck to your version

to give you a permission

like no other had ever been given,

it all came from within

even if you were bribed

by a reality set

in which you could claim rights

and permission to act out as such

by being “in love”.

That you were wondrous

is that you are wondrous.

If self-love were strong enough

you would be “in love”

unto yourself

and share it all around you.

That others gave you

the qualifications or the validation

for such to be evidenced as so,

is really only a starter kit applied

given the general apparent reality

we generally keep

and keep to ourselves in doing so.

“In love”, as deep observation goes

would reveal,

that it was you,

by a series of your interpretations

of significant others,

you gave yourself the permission

to risk into life

from this rich place within

under the guise of being “in love”.

What came out was love.

Outer directed demonstrations

of love from you

which essentially

were the fluid states

of living your capacity to self love

and sharing it with others.

Though somewhat dormant now,

that capacity and reservoir

is still and always available

within you.

You may have been rebuked

from your version

and the story

you would tell yourself

to regain a sense of permission

but the essential source place

dwells within

and lives to love ongoing

in spite of the reality withhold

that we all feature

as self in restraint but appropriate.

“In love” is precious,

it has inner light.

It is the strength and trust

of self love generatively applied

and then outwardly expressed.

It goes beyond well meaning.

We are all looking around for it

and looking to live it alive.

Provided that each of us

has no current

brow-beating-ourselves-up

situations so much so

that our isolation

sees no possibility

of light again into our world.

The short cuts provided by desire

or lust or hidden agendas

or power moves

all have short-circuited

into an endgame entrapment.

The pursuit of results

as justification is all

but contractual

and thus a false claim

as permission to be “in love”.

“In love” may start as a risk

but really

is most inwardly creative

as permitting oneself to be

and to share

from that source of self life force

that flows from within

and the experience that follows

called being,

being “in love”.