Having a G moment

Cliff note:

Less then a week ago

a very dear and close friend died.

Over the past two years

we had spent a lot of time together,

she had been stage 4 cancer

with complications and surviving.

The next morning, after she had passed,

I awoke to this . . .

and so I have written about it a

and now share this with you.

(4:14 am,

in the process of having a G moment)

Here I am, once again,

at the stark raving trap door

fall through no escape emptiness

of the absence of you.

From the shimmer and glow,

bathing in the presence,

the unendingness of the basking,

the floating in the gracious rise,

low key and softly subtle,

freely given as being there and love,

to the stark raving trap door

fall through no escape emptiness

of the absence of you.

What unexpected gaping raw incision

of now has lead me to this

stark raving trap door fall through

no escape emptiness

of the absence of you?

Have I,

with your ever constant assistance,

gone beyond the smallness of me,

to embrace a larger world of love

and connectedness and consideration,

only to fall back into this,

the stark raving trap door fall through

no escape emptiness

of the absence of you?

I feel small and lost

as a scrambling self again.

The stark raving trap door

fall through no escape emptiness

of the absence of you

has reminded me

of the fragileness of life

and life shared with

and in the presence of others.

May you always remind me of how

we were and what it means to be in

and with that presence of another.

I take from the barren pretend of now,

the richness offered by you upon me

and build onward and anew as we,

you and I, journey on in new forms

as the same essential connection

through presence and sharing.

We go where we need to,

we give what we can

and we shared as always and then some

with others as also part of us

as part of them.

Ever widening the blessedness and beauty

cultivated as we did from then

unfolding onward into now.

I drink from the strength of you

and am living it forward.

Feel honored by my thoughts,

blessed by my feelings

and always present in my heart

with the gifts you gave and shared

with me as you,

as I share forward with others,

on behalf of your strength,

in the light of your wisdom,

and in the honoring of the spirit

of you.