My own personal snit-sistant

every now and then

(if that is how it really goes!

. . . now . . . and then!)

I am personally required to get small

no not squeeze into a tight place

like into an over-packed closet

or spelunking under the house for oddities

or searching for something near floor level

that requires me to get wee tiny

beyond my capacity to consider as comfortable

no the small I am referring to

is a kind of compacted-ness

a kind of densification

that comes into being

by a very special

almost alchemical internal process

which requires me to mix-up a potion

composed of anger and issue and context

that when properly administered

will yield way more than an adequate dose

of self-compression!

to that end when done well

I experience myself as small

acceptable descriptive variations might include;

totally plugged in

amped beyond the call

dense beyond believed as possible

maybe there are

real physical consequences to this

like high blood pressure

self-imposed (really self induced) stress

on the nervous system

a shut down of feeling for . . . anything!

maybe even for impenetrable denseness

as my entire self!

I am locked into character and posing

as a block of thick un-retractable position

So when I go to check it out,

that would be

my field sense of things

I am surely there!

hunker down in the very center

of an exceedingly small self space

there is no room

to stretch and flex or alter but anything

just thump, thud, blam (sp), clunk and thawap (sp)

dulled down, crammed full, jam-packed

beyond any sense of personal space

or acceptable sense of self-recognition

I feel like I could pass

for an over inflated three day old balloon

that is beyond bursting off of anything

with even a promise

of outside intentional intervention!

like don’t make me come over there

and make you bigger than that!

I am road kill

beyond further mutilation by rambling

I am up to taking advise from a lump of coal

I could pass for a thimble of heavy matter

and pray for a black hole god

to come and save me by diminishment!

how did this happen?

what is this process?

and how did I get so involved?

to simplify towards an answer;

I am my own snit assistant

or snit-sistant!

well actually snit insistent

would be more to the real point

somehow I baited myself into a perception

I blindsided my sense of scale and circumstance

and I fused up on an issue with secret amounts

of previous and unexposed anger and angst

in a willful venting style

and by this method

I proceed to assist, (insist), myself

into a awfully, incredibly, dreadfully small space

and I did it with the major accompaniment

of my self as snit-sistant!

gosh everybody should be so lucky

do you have one those around you?

Well if you do then damn!

maybe we, when so inclined,

can be hired out

or appropriately be retrained

or be newly task applied

I’m checking personals

for hire;

snit-sistant, well qualified,

see references above!

are you in?