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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

as far as the I can see

This is what I awake to

as if I were teleported here

from a far distant place

instantaneously

a click of the frame

and there are immediate voices

too up close to my face

but of course you get use to them

a kind of imaginary hot breath

all around and closing

speaking in loud whispers

of real and imagined images

accompanied by

a hodgepodge of feelings

some as emotional trailers

unforgettable as back-stories applied

some as current of verbiage of views

and flood-ins of the senses

that mix and match

towards inexplicable recognition

as if recognition

were a hot air balloon filling

towards an ascend for the day

This all seems so backstage

yet as front row observations go

like a new kind of media

to be putting my attention on

but not new by its means

not new by its constancy

not new by my generally ignoring it

but sort of new

by sharing in the consternation of it

I am at the in-feed end

of this surround of conveyer belts

all bringing input this way

as if food to my mouth

or images to my eyes

or words to my mind

all bringing a standing wave of theatre

pouring on to my ability to experience

It is a room filled with action

‘knowing’ is an endless box of popcorn

a ‘self’ is like a constant supply

of unwrapped candy to chew

there are always images

and at least some part of me

is keeping track of themes

and storylines

and the ‘what is it’

that is all around

I used to think

this was the world to me

but I now know

it is a room of familiarity

just a room

maybe like any other

I don’t exactly always know

where the doorway is

I don’t remember the rest

of the building all around either

I have a sense for space

much larger than this room

there are more things happening

outside of this room

then there are in the room

There is an exciting world

of differences

that I am not fully aware of

but I generally know

that they are out there

There is a knock at the door

almost constantly

I can always faintly hear it

I can’t seem to bring myself

to answer it

but it does register with me

yet those loud whispers

do not step aside

there is no down turn

of the volume around me

Familiarity does not pause

to acquaint

it is as if I have to find a way

to juggle one more thing

into my awareness

in order to address that knock

or the house of cards will fall

even though that never happens

but it feels like it might

most of the time

Oh how do clouds stay in the sky

until they are gone?

I wish it were

that effortless to be!

But I do not know how wishes

come to be

and circumstance

is so seamless

and ceaseless

so far as the I can see!

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